Always Forever
by InsideYourDreams24
Summary: Edward has been in pain for weeks from the influenza, until a certain blond doctor comes his way. Basically Edward's POV of being turned by Carlisle.


**A/N: This is Edward's view on being turned in 1918, and I know this has been done a million times but just humor me. Please review, thank you!**

**EDITED: Hey, I tweaked around with this a bit to match my Carlisle POV, check it out when I publish it. Very bloody, mwahahaha ;)**

**~*IYD24*~**

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Chicago, 1918:

Pain. It was not something I had lived my life without, but now it seemed that the searing heat coursing through me would never end. The flu had fully taken me under. My whole family had been caught in the epidemic, my father being the worst. He was lost almost immediately, not that the doctors cared. After all, what was one body from another? I now spent my days lying on my hospital bed, drifting in and out of consciousness. I felt so weak at times; like someone could merely brush my arm and it would break. The flu was baking me to a fragile crisp. The burning sensation never seemed to stop, even as I slept, I burned on.

Taking me out of my thoughts, I heard two faint voices in the distance. One voice I could hardly recognize as my mother's. She had been trying to help me heal ever since we arrived in the quarantine wing. She had been broken down by the flu now, her voice too coarse and ragged for me to understand. I heard another voice reply, a soft, gentle voice with a faint English accent. I realized it was our doctor, Dr. Cullen, or Carlisle as he preferred to be called. I only knew him then as a very young, blonde doctor that seemed to never leave the hospital. I tried to make out their conversation, but the flu overcame me then, and I heard no more.

I felt like I was being burned alive, yet for some reason God did not have the decency to just let me die. On rare occasions, I would feel nothing, and I wondered if I was truly dead. But then the fever would return, strong as ever, and I would have no choice but to endure.

The next thing I recall was an ice-cold hand (or perhaps simply normal, I couldn't tell the difference anymore) stroke my cheek. I struggled to open my eyes, and I saw Carlisle standing over me in the dim evening light. His eyes were full of sorrow, their strange golden tone making me slightly uneasy. He started to learn over to me, until he was right by my ear. I fought to stay awake as reality began to quiver once again. Obviously what he wanted to say was private, otherwise he would not bother whispering.

"I am _truly_ sorry Edward," he breathed, his breath hitting the back of my neck and sending gracious chills down my spine. Even so, I was still extremely confused, sorry for what? What had happened? Had my mother died? Had **I** died? I could not put my thoughts together enough to make sense of what was happening. My head was full of a haze that seemed to thicken the longer I tried to decipher my doctor's words. Carlisle sat back, and continued simply gazing at me. Before I could even think anything else, the world went black as fire spread over me once more.

I stayed swirling in seemingly eternal flames until suddenly I had the strangest sensation of flying. I was weightless, and I did not feel the hospital bed anymore. Had God finally let me die? Was I on my way to heaven? Also, my entire left side was pressed against something cold and very hard, like a rock. I noticed it was not particularly uncomfortable, but very odd and mystifying. I squinted upwards to find Dr. Cullen's face looking very stressed as I was cradled in his arms like a child. He seemed to be running incredibly fast, color flashed past us as I stared up in astonishment. This is impossible, I thought, he may be strong but certainly he could not carry me by himself, especially not at the speed it felt like we were going. Just as abrupt as the flying sensation had begun, it stopped. Still oddly cradled in the young doctor's arms, we went at a slower pace up what felt like stairs. Then I was placed on a very soft couch, and the cold of the doctor's side disappeared.

By then I had summed up that I was dreaming. It would not have been the first time. I had had many vivid dreams while under the flu's spell and I figured I would wake up soon. Or perhaps I would actually die this time; I could feel somehow that I was very close to death's touch. Almost immediately, I slipped into an actual sleep for the first time in a while. Partly I'm sure, was because Carlisle's sofa was extremely comfortable, much better than the hospital beds. I slept for what seemed like forever, where the fire did not touch me, and I could act freely as I wished.

What woke me was a sharp slash to my neck, an incredibly cold spike of pain rushed past my skin as I felt blood run down my neck, staining my shirt. My eyes flashed open as I grasped to find the source of the cutting pain. Then fire, the most terrible fire I'd ever felt starting rushing through from where I had been cut. I screamed out in pain, the terrible fire coursing up and through my very bloodstream. I desperately tried sitting up to see was could possible be doing this to me. I found something holding me down, something, or someone. My hands found purchase on what felt like a thin cloth, a very thin coat maybe. I clenched my teeth to keep from screaming out again as the razor blades (of some sort) finally left my neck. I squeezed my eyes tightly, perhaps in hope of waking up from the dream I now wanted to be over and done with. If God couldn't let me die, couldn't he lessen my pain?

I heard a small groan as I felt another slash of pain, this time coming from my wrist. I opened my eyes again, and found Carlisle bent over my wrist, blood flowing from the gash he had his teeth pressed to. Carlisle?! I gasped in shock as more fire spread up my arm from where he had his teeth. Carlisle glared over at me, still biting into my wrist. I saw for the first time his eyes were pitch black, and raging with a look of raw hunger, like some kind of animal. I wanted to back away from him, to run as far away as I could, but his cold hands had an iron grip on my arm. I realize he was... _drinking my blood?_ He seemed to be trying to back away, but yet staying against my skin, taking blood from me. He looked furious but I did not know why. I couldn't understand what was going on, my mind thinking of a million questions at once. All the while, a blazing fire had now spread through the entire upper half if my body. The flu was nothing now, a walk I'm the park. I would take the flu for the rest of my life if it meant stopping this pain.

I let out another scream against my will, simply not able to endure anything more. Finally, Carlisle jumped back from my wrist, clenching he teeth together. He did not pause for a second before his wild animal eyes glanced over me and he lunged at my chest, almost exactly where my heart lied. I felt the fire spike as a strange sound erupted from the doctor in front of me. It sounded almost like... a growl? I could not think anymore, the pain taking over everything. My thoughts, my feelings, my every cell was being engulfed in the flames of the deepest pit of hell.

The fire kept spiking again and again. Always at my neck, my chest, my arms. I felt blood running over my clothes but I couldn't tell how much. I felt myself begin to fade, to black out entirely, before I heard a crash against the wall at the opposite side of the room. I wanted to look over, but I was too weak. My breathing was slight, until the fire started to grow stronger. My heart was galloping as sweat and tears streamed down my face. I finally worked up enough life to moan, but that's all I felt was possible. What was this doctor doing to me?!

The fire seemed to rage forever until slowly, too slowly, the pain began to recede from my fingertips, and I found I could move my toes again. But as I could start moving my appendages the fire started pinpointing my heart. My heart raced and soared, as the fire seemed to do the same. This went on, until finally the fire spurt in the very center of my heart, and both went silent at once.

I paused for a moment to make sure it was really over, and then opened my eyes to find Carlisle sitting next to me, his eyes wide with what seemed like amazement. Except now they were a strange deep scarlet shade, almost red. I was confused, I thought I was delirous... I thought he had golden eyes. But I couldn't focus on just his eyes for long. Everything was so clear and beautiful that I could not realize I'd been looking at the same world all my life. A voice distracted me for a second; the smoothest and most musical voice I had ever heard in my life,

_"He looks even more beautiful now; he'll have more trouble than me with the women at the hospital, or anywhere else for that matter. Oh he looks so stunned; it must be the absence of pain, I wonder how the amount of blood in the body affects the pain you go through. Dear God I must have nearly killed him! But it just tasted so good..... No. I have to be strong now, for him..."_ He seemed to keep talking without even acknowledging me. I wondered why he continued to speak like I wasn't there until I realized his lips weren't moving.

"What it God's name is going on?!" I said, stunned by the flow of my own voice. Carlisle's mouth finally broke out into a grin as he chuckled lightly.

_"Thank God he's okay."_ He sighed with relief, again without seeming to move his mouth or anything for that matter.

"Yes I am now just talk to me!" I yelled, my impatience getting the best of me. Carlisle frowned, his brow furrowed slightly, like he was trying to read something with a very small text.

"Edward? What do you mean?" He asked, I fought to think straight as he continued on, but he seemed to be talking to himself. _"What is going on? How could he here what I was thinking? I had heard if other vampires with abilities, but-"_

"VAMPIRES?!" I yelled, "What in God's name do vampires have to do with anything?!"

This time Carlisle sigh was for real. He bit his lip and paused for a moment before continuing,  
"Well, Edward. I'm not sure how to explain this. You see, I am... well, we are... um, not exactly human..." I heard him say more things without speaking, that he was a vampire! That.... _I was a vampire?_

"We are vampires? How is that possible?!" I asked pleadingly. Carlisle looked at me with the same confused expression.

"Hmm," he said, "Let me try something," Suddenly visions starting flowing through my mind. _London over a century ago, a dark night in the street lit ablaze with torches. A sense of urgency, running out and getting hit by some animal, no, a person! Screaming, writhing, confusion. The fire was there but I couldn't make a sound, I didn't dare. Waking up to find that all was unbelievably clear. A tinge of fear and then… self-loathing?_ More visions flooded into my head as I started to lose focus of where one ended and another began. The scenes were blurred, out of focus, like I didn't really know what was happening.

"You see?" Carlisle continued, "I was turned many years ago, more than you would think, and now you are as I am. This is your first day of eternal life."

"What was all that?" I asked.

"My past, Edward, I am 278 years old. I came here after traveling around from place to place…" I heard him say something else about the 1640's, but I still did not understand. His words echoed through my head, his eyes lingering in my mind, as I finally drew some meaning...

This is my first day of forever. It is also my last, I've spent eternity in pain and now I'm spending the rest of it... undead. I was a vampire, I was immortal, I was….thirsty.

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**A/N 2: All I ask is a click on the button below, and 40 seconds of your time, thanks for reading! Your thoughts are the world to me!**


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